A couple of friends recently told me they were smitten with their new guys. They'd only been out on a couple of dates, but things seemed to be going so well. Then a few days went by and I found out that the relationships had already fizzled. For various reasons. My heart sank. I knew this feeling of giddiness followed by disappointment. When I was dating, I would get excited about every new guy who showed potential. I know, dumb move. No pressure.

If we had chemistry, there was no stopping our relationship. I handed over my number, thinking surely he would feel the same and want to call me right away. I stopped my online searching, waiting for our next date. But I couldn't think about anyone else if there was one guy in the picture who excited me. I had to find out if he was indeed the elusive "one". I put my hope and expectations on him. What was wrong with me?? And it worked. It took the pressure off.

These guys tended to fade, run the other way, or string me along until they met someone else, leaving me frustrated and disappointed. I wasn't a crazy stalker girl, but I'm sure they sensed my ability to mentally skip ahead and picture our impending exclusive relationship..sharing wine, taking trips, falling for each other. All before we'd been out on more than a handful of dates. I'd be freaked out too. In fact, it can get in the way of clear thinking sometimes.

Being excited about a new guy is one thing, but placing my hopes and expectations in a man I barely knew was not the smartest move. Chemistry counts, but it's not the only thing that makes a relationship move forward. This is why I started ignoring my tendency to pursue a seemingly promising relationship and force myself to date more than one guy at a time, even if I was only interested in one. I stopped with the expectations and just let things happen.